#1: Harris's Newsletter
Weekly digest of things I'm thinking, consuming, and appreciating š¤
Hi friends & fam,
Youāre receiving this email because I just pressed āSendā on something Iāve been trying to muster up the courage to do for quite awhile now ā launch a newsletter.
Why a newsletter? Good question, and tbh Iām still trying to come up with an answer thatās buttoned-up enough for even myself to feel truly confident in. I recently wrote about my reasons for writing publicly, which should give you the gist. At its core though, this newsletter is all in service of me putting myself out there a bit more, and seeing what comes back.
If Iām being 100% honest with you, I really donāt know what this newsletter will become. I donāt have any explicit goals, frameworks, or milestones attached to it right now. Trust me, I would actually feel much more comfortable if I did, but I donāt. Iām excited to let my energy, curiosity and creativity lead the direction here.
This first edition should give you a sense of what might be to come, but with all that said, below youāll find a few thoughts currently on mind that might foreshadow some future themes:
[Work, Lifestyle & Purpose] What does it look like if I spend the next 6 to 12 months only focusing on activities that energize me? What is my purpose? What am I passionate about? How do you go about finding that? Is it even worth the pursuit? What would happen if I just started betting on myself? How can I start to think, act more like an owner, vs an employee? What does a future of never working in an office again look like? How much do I care about money? Are there alternative paths, professions out there that I should consider? How would I go about experimenting with these?
[Personal Growth, Self-Work & Mindfulness] How can I become more of āmeā? How can I go about āfinding my voiceā? What happens if I start to shift my focus to inputs (eg, process), vs outputs (eg, outcome)? How can I have better conversations? What would happen if I leaned fully into my strengths, vs try to patch up my weaknesses? How can I best be leveraging tools such as mindfulness, therapy and coaching to grow and live from a place of presence and awareness?
[Creativity] How can I live a more creative life? What does that even mean? How can I start creating more, vs simply consuming? Whatās blocking me from this path? What am I scared of? What am I insecure about?
[Influences]ā¦and hereās what Iām reading and listening to, so you have a flavor of the content thatās influencing my thinking, and likely future writing.
Finally, why are you receiving this? Youāre receiving this first newsletter because you're someone I love, respect, admire, and want to continue to stay close to. If youād like to continue receiving these, just add your name here. If not, no sweat. Iāve committed to sending these out weekly (note: this might change in the future), so if I havenāt heard back from you after the first 2 weeks, Iāll just remove you from the list. And you can certainly always unsubscribe somewhere down the line.
Okay, lengthy preamble over ā now, for the actual content!
Thoughts
Some original thoughts and writing from me. Here you might find essays, posts, quotes, snippets or maybe something else entirely. I would expect this section to evolve a good bit!
I recently committed to write 30 posts in 30 days, and to share all of them publicly. Iām currently 21 posts in, and recently tweeted about my rationale for why. That rationale essentially boils down to me following whatās energizing me right now, but you can click into the below tweet to find out more and see all the posts. You can also find the posts and follow along here: harrisbrown.me/daily.
Since Iāve been doing so much writing already, I wanted to start off this section with one of my posts from the last few weeks ā some musings on responsibility. You can find the post copied below and read the original post on Notion here.
ā
Responsibility
November 16, 2020 | Post 8 of 30
āHow have I been complicit in creating the conditions I say I don't want?ā
This is what Jerry Colonna, founder of coaching company Reboot, asks almost all the guests on his podcast. As I was listening to a recent episode this week, I was reminded of just how powerful this question truly is. This question flips the onus of responsibility for our experience to be 100% on ourselves, and it's been of the most life-changing reframes I've encountered. Here's how it works in practice:
Unhappy in my relationship? What conversations am I not having. What am I saying that's not being heard by my partner. What expectations do I have of my partner that I have not made clear. What am I not clear about related to myself, that could be impacting my relationship with my partner. What am I unwilling to trade-off in order to be happy.
Not content with work? What conversations am I unwilling to have with my boss. What expectations have I not set with my colleagues. What decisions am I fearful to make (eg leaving, starting to interview) that might fix the situation. What agreements am I not upholding that are contributing to this discontent.
Upset at my parents? What boundaries have I not established with them. What have I not said, that I know needs to be said. What past baggage am I unwilling to revisit.
I really like how Derek Sivers, in his piece Everything Is My Fault, articulates this point-of-view:
When someone upsets you, itās human nature to feel itās their fault. But one day I tried thinking of everything as my fault...What power! Now youāre the person who made things happen, made a mistake, and can learn from it. Now youāre in control and thereās nothing to complain about.
It's hard to overstate how impactful, and empowering, this mindset has been for me. It's led to greater presence and contentment in my relationships with others, and more compassion and understanding in my relationship with myself. It's also been one of the most effective personal learning tools I've encountered. If you're unsatisfied with an area of your life, and you're the one solely responsible for that outcome, than you have no other option but to confront the fears, insecurities and realities that are contributing to why that area of your life is the way that it is.
Jim Dethmer, in his 15 Commitments of Conscious Leadership, presents this concept masterfully in his concept of being either above or below the line. Sunderland Coaching summarizes the concept here: "When someone is in a ābelow the lineā position they view life through the lens of a victim, always being at the affect of life and interpreting it through a āto meā lens. On the contrary, when someone is in an āabove the lineā position they view life through the lens of a creator, as someone who is able to impact and learn from their environment, interpreting life through a āby meā lens. This concept is described by the authors as āthe most important model we know of for being a conscious leader.ā
Jim's podcast interviews with Shane Parrish and Tim Ferriss are some of the most impactful I've ever listened to, and I highly recommend both. Here's an excerpt from his interview with Tim Ferriss Show:
And from that place of above the line being with the content from curiosity and from responsibility instead of blame, they started to source all kinds of innovative ways to solve the short flow of human resource and literally changed and solved it because they got done blaming, complaining, bitching, moaning, and took responsibility because they were willing to see it as a learning opportunity.
Recommendations
I consume a lot of content! Iām excited to start sharing some of what resonates with me, in the hopes that some of it might do the same for you. Here youāll find books, podcasts, songs, articles and more that Iāve been consuming. And, if youāve got anything you think worth checking out, please send my way.
š Books
The Practice: Shipping Creative Work by Seth Godin
If you do something creative each day, youāre now a creative person. Not a blocked person, not a striving person, not an untalented person. A creative personā¦Do the work, become the artist. Instead of planning, simply become. Acting as if is how we acquire identityā¦
Focusing solely on outcomes forces us to make choices that are banal, short-term, or selfish. It takes our focus away from the journey and encourages us to give up too earlyā¦Our commitment to the process is the only alternative to the lottery-mindset of hoping for the good luck of getting picked by the universe.
Why this resonates: Iāve been feeling compelled to do more creative work, both personally and professionally. But Iāve found myself blocked from moving forward with any projects. Uncomfortable, anxious, fearful, insecure, you name it. One recurring line of my self-talk is this: āWait, you canāt do thatā¦because youāre not a [insert ā writer, musician, entrepreneur, etc.]ā. But, Seth Godin would ask you this: What if you just started doing that thing? What happens then? By simply doing the thing, heād say, you actually start to become the kind of person that does that thing. Your identity actually starts to change. Action solves your problem. Heād say that by focusing on the practice (the actual doing of the work), rather than the outcomes, you actually increase your odds of success. This is the mindset shift Iāve needed to just get started.
Show Your Work!: 10 Ways to Share Your Creativity and Get Discovered by Austin Kleon
Give what you have. To someone, it may be better than you dare to think
Why this resonates: Iāve historically consumed a lot. At some point this year though, I noticed that I had become dissatisfied with consuming. I realized that I was dissatisfied because I was simply consuming to consume, rather than consuming to create. What if I turned my consumption habits into creation habits? What if I started making actionable more of what I consumed? But even if I did that, what would I actually share? What would I say that hasnāt been said before? Austin Kleon would urge you to just share it ā whatever it is you feel compelled to share. Heād say that we oftentimes underestimate the impact of sharing whatever we have. His new book is a great companion (and quick read) for both philosophical and tactical direction for just sharing more of what you have to share.
š¤ Podcasts
Mary Karr, on the Tim Ferriss Show
...Well, I mean, I think the problem isnāt whatever your mind is telling you the problem is, the problem is the fear. And for me, the solution to fear is curiosity and presence. And I canāt be terrified and curious at the same time.
Why this resonates: I recently wrote about how āget curiousā has been my most impactful mantra of the year. Mary Karr, well-known memoirist and teacher, touches on this same idea in her interview with Tim Ferriss. I really liked her description of how being curious actually becomes a defense against a difficult emotion like fear. This interview is wide-ranging, so I recommend a full listen. Side-note, Karr is a Texan and had me laughing-out-loud (and transported back to growing up in Alabama) with some of the ridiculous stories she told about her upbringing.
Matthew McConaughey, on the Tim Ferriss Show
Someone whoās a bit of a hermit or socially uncomfortable, their dirt road is being an extrovert. Go out, engage, practice it. So it was a flip on that, that sometimes the road less taken can be a dirt road, yes, many times the path less taken. And other times, for some people, some of us in our times in our life, itās an autobahn. Sometimes, I used to be so extroverted, Iād never would spend time with myself reading a book or doing introspection. Well, that was a dirt road for me to take some introspectionā¦So it changes for us, and sometimes itās a dirt road, sometimes itās an autobahn.
Why this resonates: McConaughey uses a metaphor that I really liked in this interview: the dirt road and the autobahn. He says that the ārightā road forward (with a decision, path or area of growth) for one person may look completely different for another person. For one person, the road forward may look like a dirt road. For another, that road may look like an autobahn. Iāve been contemplating my own road, both personally and professionally, of late and can find myself slipping into the trap of thinking that my road āshouldā look like a dirt road, when in fact it probably looks more like an autobahn; that thereās a ārightā answer for someone in my specific situation. This is something Iāve been working with my coach, Jocelyn, on a lot, and as an Enneagram Type 9, this is something I struggle with. Most importantly though, this interview is 100% worth listening to if only to hear McConaughey refer to himself in the third person throughout the entire thing (and get called out by Ferriss).
šø Tunes
Iām starting off this section by ārecommendingā some content by yours truly (note: this may or may not be cheating). I found myself uninspired during a recent writing session, so decided instead to write something in a different medium. Hope you enjoy.
Hereās the direct link in case the embed above doesnāt work.
Appreciations
Shout-outs and gratitude for things Iām appreciating and inspired by.
Iād like to give a heartfelt shout-out to some folks that have given me inspiration to finally put this newsletter out there. These people are friends, former colleagues and folks on the internet that donāt even know I exist and most have been writing publicly for awhile now. You can find their writings below, and I strongly recommend checking them out.
@Nick DeWilde, The Jungle Gym
@Joey Messatezza, The MezzaDigesta
@Brian Martinez, Growth Snacks
@Lenny Rachitsky, Lennyās Newsletter
@Patricia Mou, Wellness Wisdom
@Dickie Bush, Dickieās Digest
@Rick Ramirez, Fumbling Forward
Iād also be remiss (and also maybe in trouble) if I didnāt give a special appreciation to my editor-in-chief, @Christina Landry Brown, for all the unseen contributions in getting this newsletter out the door.
Well, this first edition was admittedly way longer than I had anticipated. So, if you made it this far, youāve officially won a (to-be-determined) prize that you may or may not ever receive. But seriously, Iām extremely grateful for your time and attention. And a final reminder, if you decide youād like to stick around for future editions, please let me know here.
Take care š¤,
Harris